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Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Choose to Wilt or Bloom

I just finished reading Kelle Hampton's memoir, Bloom.  I opened the book eager to read and see how our stories matched up. I turned each page anticipating what was to come. Did it make me sad? Not really...  Did it make me happy? Not any happier than I am... But it DID make me think.  Through her book I learned that some may think I too am in denial. I don't think about Down Syndrome daily and to be honest I sometimes forget it is a part of our lives. I know that there will come a time when I will notice there are differences and challenges Sawyer will face, but right now I want to live in the moment. I know after much soul-searching I am not in denial, I am just living in the concept of my reality. She is doing so well and I want us to live our lives to the fullest. Why let the future take away the joy of today? Am I scared of what the future holds? Yes. But I have come to realize that in any situation the future can be a scary thing. I am not in denial and know that the future we had planned will be a little different. But change is sometimes good. When we were in the hospital the social worker who came and spoke with Cody and I gave us the best advice. She first asked if we had any other children. We replied, "yes". And she then said something that will stick with me forever... "You don't know what the future holds for Cohen any more than you know what the future holds for Sawyer." She was so right... And at that moment in time I think I truly became, "okay".
I may think I know Cohen's future because he came into this world perfectly healthy but I don't... I honestly can't wave a magic wand and have his future just as I see it in my head. He may or may not play sports and be a wonderful athlete (because at this moment in time that is what the future looks like for him...an out of this world athlete). But who is to say he will want to play football in 5 years. 2 years. or even 6 months from now...


After reading the book I pondered my brain on why I DON'T want to do the Buddy Walk... Why I DON'T want to be a part of the Down Syndrome Association and after searching I realized it is because I don't want Sawyer to feel different. Society already labeled her before she was born.  The world says she is different. I want to stand up for her and let her know that she can be whoever she wants to be and a simple diagnosis won't stop her. I want her to know that college is NOT impossible. And at this moment in time I feel as if these wonderful, yes wonderful groups will label her just as society does. Now, let me say that I think the Buddy Walk is great for those who want to be a part as well as the Down Syndrome Association.  People need others, and I know that. Am I saying I will never be a part of this, No... I can't say what my future holds. I may one day have a different feeling and feel that joining will make me a better mother.  I will do whatever I can in my power to make sure this little girl knows how much she is loved. I will do whatever I have to in order for her to succeed to her fullest potential. But right now I feel that in order to make her succeed I have to stand up for what I believe in this moment. 


Kelle's book title is perfect. When we are put in a situation that is not expected do we Wilt or Bloom? I believe I have chosen to Bloom. I feel as though I have changed as a person. I can not control what tomorrow brings. I also can't control what others think and to be honest I don't want to. I want to know that I have my security blanket and that is our family. I want to be the best role model I can be for both of my kids. I want them to follow by my example and I had to do some growing up to get here. I want both of my children to know how much they mean to us and how much they enrich our lives. Neither one of them is more special than the other.  I look to them both as our little miracles. Although, I never thought the birth of my second child would allow me to become someone new. To learn more about myself than I realized. I have found that I have more strength than I ever knew. I have more faith than I ever expected. I have more courage that I thought was possible. How lucky am I... You really should not question why? There is always a greater meaning... And these are our 2



"You never know how STRONG you are until being STRONG is the only choice you have"
-Anonymous

Friday, April 13, 2012

Here Comes Peter Rabbit



Easter was pretty nice and relaxing this year. When we woke up the kids discovered what the Easter bunny left at our house...




We went to church and stood outside because it was so packed then headed over to my parents.
We spent the morning at my parents and the afternoon at Cody's parents....
The kids enjoyed themselves! My mom rented a fun jump and had a sprinkler.



It was such a beautiful day we spend the majority of it outside.



I can not believe Sophie Kate has grown up so fast. It is like yesterday my nanny had her first baby (Kate) who I fell instantly in love with.  I was the "baby-phene" of the family and babysat for her. I could not get enough of her.  She now reminds me a lot of myself. She will wait patiently for you to hand over Sawyer and as soon as you do she won't give her up. Her arm can be dead asleep and you will never know because she DOES NOT want to give up holding the baby...

 

Hutch played with Cohen and man did he love it!  Hutch and Sophie Kate are siblings. And Audrey Grace is their families caboose! I watched Hutch growing up as much as Sophie Kate. So I feel like we have a bond that we formed when they were itty bitty's... 
It is refreshing to see how they now play with my little ones... Who would have ever thought life would continue and change so much.... 




Then the water table was filled and the splish splash fun began... Thank Goodness I brought few sets of clothes for Cohen (I think he changed 5 times).  



Cohen and Cambri ended up with bottoms only standing in the water table. They are so funny...



Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Half a year

WOW! What half a year can bring...
Sawyer turned 6 months old! She is getting so big!
We are almost able to sit up! Practice makes perfect so mommy is doing everything possible to get there completely.  Cohen is so much more of a help than he knows.  When they play on the floor together she will roll any way just to make sure he is in her sight. There aren't many more words needed to explain the past 6 months... These recent pictures say it all...


6 Months Old!!!
Laughing at her big brother

No words needed...
New Trick...sitting up

She thinks it is funny when she pulls his hair
2 1/2 years old!

Happy Happy Happy

The little conversations... (She was in the midst of changing...If you know me she does not just wear a diaper! LOL)

"Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing"     -Wayne Dyer